She's A Vampire
by MissJackieMac
Summary: Bella is changed shortly after Edward leaves. She covinces herself that he is happy without her, but still cannot find it in herself to move on. She and Jacob head back to Forks ninety years later...Full Summary Inside. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**An: Thanks for reading…**

Summary: _After Edward left, everything happens as it does in New Moon up until just after the jump. A few nights later, Victoria shows up while Bella's sleeping, and changes her, thinking it would be more painful for Edward if he knew she was alive…forever. She stays alive, only hanging onto the fact that Edward is out there still…somewhere. Jacob stays with her, frozen at sixteen, because he cannot learn to control his anger…_

Ninety years later, it's still risky to go back to Forks. Jacob thinks that no one at the 'messed up high school' lived passed seventy. But you never know, Mike Newton may be a hundred and seven...ok, so probably not. But whatever.

"Bells, is there a dress code?" Jake yelled from the other room.

I shook my head, "No, Jacob. For the tenth time."

He smiled, "Just checking…for the tenth time."

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. I pulled out a blue blouse and skirt. I fixed my hair in my mirror and did my makeup quickly. I took a deep breath and opened my door.

Jacob was just coming out of his room and I laughed. He was wearing dark jeans and no shirt. He smiled and fiddled with his wolf necklace that matched my wolf bracelet.

"Put a shirt on, Jake."

"You said there wasn't a dress code."

"You knew exactly what I meant." I pushed him towards his room. "Go put a shirt on."

He smiled and turned around and came back out seconds later, slipping a dark gray tight shirt on. I smiled and walked down the stairs.

"Come on, Bells, you gotta admit, I had you stunned with my sexy abs." Jacob called from the top of the stairs.

Even after eighty years of the little mutt following me (kidding, I love him!) he still joked about him and me. It stopped being serious a while ago…I just can't get over Edward…and he finally accepted that.

"Yeah, you got me, Jake," I said sarcastically.

"For a vampire, you still can blush pretty good," He teased from behind me.

I smacked his shoulder and rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

He smirked and dug through the fridge.

I sighed as I stared out the windows. Eighty years earlier, I was starting Forks high school in this exact house.

Jacob hugged me from behind, "You sure about this?"

I nodded my head.

"We can go back to Alaska or something."

I shook my head, "He might be there…"

"He might be here too," He reminded me.

"No. He wouldn't take the chance." I said, looking down.

"We don't know that they don't know…" Jacob said carefully.

"Yeah we do, Jake!" I yelled. "You're here…you're a block for Alice…" I said, calmer.

"K, sorry." He said, giving up.

"You could go to school on the reservation," I reminded him. "With Embry and Seth and them."

"Would it kill you to let the Rez go?" He asked.

Awhile back, Sam yelled at Jacob to come back. Jacob refused and he's held a bitter grudge ever since.

"Would it kill you to let the Cullen's go?" I asked.

"No, but it'd kill you." He spit back.

I took a step back and glared at him.

I stomped out to my car (a _black _Volvo) and started it. Jake climbed in a few minutes later but said nothing.

I sped off towards the high school.

"Come on Bells," He said slowly. "You know I didn't mean that."

I nodded my head.

"Forgive me?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course." I said quietly. "It's just…I'm here. Again."

"I know Bella." He answered. "Come find me if you need me."

I would be a junior this year, and Jake would be a sophomore. It was pushing it for him, but we wanted to stay as long as possible. We'd be lucky to stay more than four.

I pulled into a space near the back of the parking lot. Nothing had changed much…which was refreshing.

We both took a deep breath and got out of the car. It was still kind of early, but there were a few other cars in the parking lot. I scanned the parking lot for anything that was even the least bit too flashy – nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

I walked next to Jacob, gave him a quick hug then rushed to my first class. I knew I wasn't going to be late, but I was nervous about just hanging around.

I sat down in the back, hopefully to be unnoticed. I closed my eyes and laid back.

"Are you Bella Wolfe?" A male voice asked. I opened my eyes.

He was tall, skinny and wore baggy clothes. I nodded my head.

"Are you dating that other dude?"

I shrugged, "What other dude?"

"The guy with the wolf necklace and the shiny teeth."

I shook my head and smiled to myself, Jake's teeth…

"Oh."

I looked up and put my best I'm-annoyed-so-leave-me-alone look and he shuffled away.

I leaned back again. I sighed a breath of relief when no vampire or wolf people were in my classroom after the bell rang. After the one guy, who didn't even tell me his name, no one came near me. There was only the seat next to me open in the class, which I guess meant there were still room for vampire-wolves, but I doubted it.

I was last on the roll sheet, and didn't look up to answer. I jut said here from where I was, keeping my eyes closed. Blend. I told myself for the twentieth time. But it was hard to blend when you had flawless skin, gold eyes and never ate. I mean sure, Jake ate…he ate tons. But I don't think he really counts.

The first half of the morning passed quickly, every teacher spent the hour rambling about rules and expectations. So far, I hadn't run into any vampires…I heard quiet whispers about the new kids, but I figured Jake and I were new, so, you know.

A few kids turned out to be like Mike Newton…annoying, pushy and overly talkative, but no one was extremely unbearable. I had made it so my schedule was the same as it had been ninety years ago…don't ask why, I'm not even sure. I was giddy for Biology…I wasn't sure how well that would go with my mental health. But today was all about taking chances, right?

I met Jacob in the parking lot then walked slowly behind him towards the cafeteria. Neither of us said anything to each other. He opened the door and I stepped in. He walked in and stepped in front of me again, going into a very protective stance suddenly. I surveyed the room.

I froze. Was it possible for a vampire to go into shock? I wasn't sure. How could I be sure? My mind worked quickly – like it always did – and I was able to take a step back into the rain and hope he didn't see me. Jacob was outside next to me, a worried look on his face.

**an: I have more written out, a lot more….but wasn't sure if I should keep going…you tell me(:**


	2. Chapter 2

**an: Thanks so much everyone! :) Here's more!**

"Bells?" I could hear him whisper. "Bella say something."

Over the many years, I had my powers tested a lot. Extreme resistance to human blood and a shield. I had noticed that I could push it away from myself and protect others. It had been on Jacob for so long, it automatically protected him. So it was like he had the shield power too. There was no worry about Edward hearing him.

I stared in the window. No, Edward hadn't seen me. None of them had…Alice…Jasper…Emmett…Rose…Edward. And a new face – a new vampire face – a girl.

"Bella," Jacob said again, "Say something, now." He demanded.

"It would be as if I never existed," I whispered.

Jacob frowned. "What?"

"He didn't mean him to me," I answered, mostly to myself. "He meant for himself. It would be as if _I _never existed."

"What?" Jacob asked again.

"When he left, he told me, 'It will be as if I never existed.' But I get it now. He didn't mean him to me…he meant me to him."

Jacob's eyes flashed back towards the window. A low growl escaped his lips when he saw them.

"We have to move." He said suddenly. "Before they see us."

I took a final glance at them – Edward was laughing, and the girl was leaning into his side. Emmett was pushing Jasper off the seat, and Alice and Rose were leaning back, laughing too. The girl laughed too, and leaned in closer and kissed Edward's cheek. Briefly, a look of anger crossed his face.

I squeezed my eyes shut and mentally cursed myself for trying to play tricks on itself…Edward was happy, without me. And I could be happy without him…eventually.

Jacob grasped my hand and pulled me away from the window.

"Ok, Bells, we're going home, ok?" He said, starting to go towards the car.

"Jake," I said, my voice strong. "I can do this. I'm fine, ok?"

He froze, and concern colored his voice, "Bella, you don't need to put yourself through that. We'll just go to the Rez."

I shook my head and took a deep, unneeded breath. "I do, Jake. I need to prove that I'm fine without him."

"Bella," He said, his voice serious, careful and loving. "You're not ok. The only thing that's kept you alive is knowing he's still there…you don't need to see him with her. You don't need to pull this lie off."

His words were completely true…yet, "The first step of telling a lie is to start believing the lie yourself. If I prove to myself I can… I can Jake. Are you honestly going to try and stop me?"

He didn't answer for a long time. Then he shook his head, "No, Bells. I'm not."

"Then let's go." I told him.

He took a deep breath then nodded.

"And um, Jake?" I said hesitatively.

"Yeah Bells?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything." He promised.

"Can we, um," I didn't know how to ask him without him think I was just using him.

"Bella," He said, "It's been practically a hundred years, and you cant ask me to be your boyfriend?" He smiled and grasped my hand again. "And I thought we were close…"

I smiled at him. He smiled back and led the way. He took a very needed huge breath before he opened the door.

"No weirdness, right?" Jacob asked.

"Right."

He nodded his head and smiled, pulling off the act well.

We had done it once before, forty years ago in Italy. We both did what we needed to, nothing more. Both of us understood the limitations and there wasn't any weirdness after – Thankfully.

I heard whispers as we walked down the middle of the halls.

"The shock never dies," Jacob whispered. He flashed a full, shiny smile.

I laughed and shook my head.

I stood in line with Jacob as he piled food onto a tray. As I turned around, I smiled at him again just for the heck of it. For the shock factor, if you will.

I looked nonchalantly at the Cullen's table.

Alice was half smiling-half frowning. Probably disappointed she never saw this. Jasper was staring at me with wide eyes. Emmett was staring at Edward then me, then back at Edward. Rose was frozen mid-makeup. The girl stared at me, but with confused eyes – she didn't know who I was.

I looked back at Jacob and walked to a table with him. We sat down and I listened in carefully to the whispers around me.

"That girl is hot!" "Uh, no, check out that guy!" "I think they're together."

"Why does she look so much like the Cullen's?" "Their sister?" "No, I've never seen her." "What's her name?" "Newton said her name was Bella." Newton?! As in he was a grandkid of Mike?! I laughed. "I thought he said that she said they weren't together." "It looks like they are." I ignored the human's conversations and tried to listen to the Cullen's.

"Edward, that girl looks like Bella." Emmett said dumbly.

He growled at him, and continued to stare at me. I had sat at an angle that I could still watch them but look like I was looking at Jacob.

"I think it _is _Bella," Rose told him.

"That's not possible," Edward hissed. "She died ninety two years ago. Right Alice?"

"Well…she's obviously not human…but I don't think she died, Edward." Alice said carefully.

"She jumped!" He hissed back. "You saw her jump, Alice!"

"Maybe there was a crack, Edward…" Jasper said calmly.

"Keep your emotions to yourself," Edward said harshly to Jasper. "There has never been a crack, Alice. What happened?" He demanded.

"Jacob's a block, I guess." Alice answered shyly.

Edward slammed his fist on the table. The girl jumped back then coiled under his arm. He pushed her away. "You lied to me, Alice!" He accused.

"Edward!" Emmett cut in, "Just hold on. You're the mind reader, no one can keep stuff from you, k? Just chill for a minute."

Edward glared at him but said nothing.

"How's that going?" Jake said, his mouth full.

"Oh it's good…" I said slowly. "Edward thinks Alice lied about me jumping…he's yelling at everyone."

Jacob nodded his head. "So is he like, mad that he got a new girl, or mad you're still alive?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea."

"Edward," The girl said. "Who is she?"

"Isabella Marie Swan." He said simply. My dead heart jumped when he said my name.

She made an annoyed noise, "And why is she important?"

"She's a vampire." He answered.

"And why are you freaking out?" She asked again, annoyed.

"We knew her in her human years," Jasper cut in.

Obviously, our short time together hadn't been shared with the new Cullen.

I looked down and blocked their conversation out. Jacob reached across and took my hand, "Bells, you ok?"

"I'm just a distant memory to him…and he's still so fresh in my mind it hurts."

Jacob's eyes held compassion but he didn't say anything.

"Um, you done?" I asked.

He nodded his head but grabbed a sandwich and shoved it in his mouth. I rolled my eyes and followed him towards the exit.

I let go of his hand once I knew we were out of site, and sat against a wall.

He stood next to me.

"I say we ditch out of here," Jacob said suddenly. "I mean, come on. He had you, he left you…"

"I know that Jake." I answered. "It's just…I need closure…and I have a chance for it. But I'm too terrified to get it."

He sat down and wrapped his strong arms around me as I sobbed silently into his shoulder.

"Do you want to finish the day?" He asked.

I nodded my head. "Yes, we need to. Wrong assumptions won't go over well."

"Will you be alright?" He asked.

"Yes. Will you?"

He nodded his head.

"No phasing." I ordered.

His fingers traced the bad scar from many years ago when a miscommunication made him angry and he phased and swiped at me. It had been forgiven a long time ago, yet he still felt bad for it. "Not when you're around."

"Or humans, please." I added, smiling.

"Got it," He said breathing in.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted.

"Go to class. Be careful." He answered, pulling me up.

I took a deep, unneeded breath again. "Ok," I answered.

He kissed my forehead.

Not as part of our act, not because he wanted us to be something – because he loved me, and I loved him.

**an: Ahh yes, Biology is next :D**

**Tell me how you like it?**


	3. Chapter 3

**an: Sorry for the lamest update speed ever. School's starting back up next month, so I've been cramming as much summer as I can in :) Thanks for reviewing!**

I walked slowly to Biology. I hoped, with everything I was, that Edward was not in this class.

Would it be so hard for the teachers to change the rooms every few years?! The room was exactly as it had been ninety-two years ago. Most of the tables were already full…I got pushed around a bit as more people ran inside to get away from the rain and soon all but one seat was taken…of course, because the Cullen's are freaky-scary people that no one should talk to, the only seat was next to him.

"Ms. Wolfe?" My teacher, Mrs. Stout called from her desk. Edward snorted at the last name so I glared at him. "There's an open seat next to Mr. Cullen, do you mind sitting there?"

"Actually, is there anywhere else?" I asked.

She looked around the room then shook her head, "No, sorry, dear." She hesitated, "Is there a reason why you cannot sit next to Edward?"

I shook my head and sat down slowly, moving my chair away from him in the process. I stared ahead of me as she went through the rules and book checkout process for her class.

Finally, she clasped her hands, "Now, for the next twenty minutes you may get to know your partner, because – unless for some reason you can't – you'll be with this person the rest of quarter." Her eyes landed on Edward and I. He was staring at his hands and I played with my notebook.

The class got loud very quickly and Mrs. Stout walked to her desk and stared at her computer.

"Hello, I'm Edward," Edward said stupidly.

I stared ahead of me.

"So you and the pup?" Edward said, his voice more careful.

I still didn't answer him, not until he called him by name.

"How old is he now? He was always a bit young…"

"Hundred and seven, actually…you're what, two hundred and two?" I asked in a snippy tone. I had known how old he was since the day he left me, but I didn't want to show that, so I made up a number.

"A hundred in ninety eight, actually." He cut back.

"Are you married to the dog?"

I ignored him.

"Yes." Edward confirmed.

"His name is Jacob." I said finally.

Edward nodded his head. "I'm glad you moved on." His voice seemed to have a sour edge that contradicted his words. But, I knew that it was my hopeful imagination playing tricks on me.

"If you'd excuse me, I'd rather just draw." I said, opening my notebook.

In my human years, drawing wasn't something that came easily at all…but with all the extra time; I'd started to become an excellent artist. My handwriting even improved…

I started to doodle, aware that he was watching closely. I had drawn two pairs of eyes, two of them were dark yet beautiful. The other pair was light and young. I drew a tree on the side with large, intertwined branches. On one half, the leaves were large and prickly, and on the other, small and smooth. At the top of the page, I made a dark cloud, with a bolt of lightning coming out of it. On the bottom of the bolt, I drew a broken, bleeding heart. Out of the side, I drew an arm, reaching out to the heart.

I looked at Edward out of the corner of my eye, his eyes showed confusion and…sorrow?

I continued to draw teeth on the other side of the heart, (sharp ones, like fangs), that were lunging towards the heart too. It was one of the best depictions of Edward and my self's past love that I had ever done. In small calligraphy I wrote, Time Heals All Wounds.

The bell rang and I closed my notebook and stood up. Edward stood up too, grabbing his bag and looking deep into my eyes. I stayed completely still, not moving even when a book slammed to the hard floor.

"You promised me Bella…" He said quietly. His eyes were soft, careful. "You promised nothing reckless or stupid."

"I kept the promise, Edward." I said as I took a step away. My heart seemed to be burning.

He looked down, and when he looked back up, his eyes were hard again, "But you're here." He said simply. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Too late for that, isn't it?" I said as I turned and went out the door. Jacob was waiting nervously outside and he grabbed my arm as soon as he saw me.

"You ok?" He asked.

I nodded my head.

"Say something." He asked, again.

"K." I whispered.

Edward came out of the classroom and he and Jacob stared at each other for a long time before Edward moved on…

I wasn't sure how I would make it through the day.

It was, of course, just my luck that I had the next class with Edward and perfect princess vampire too. I sat behind them, and watched as she passed him notes and kissed him quickly throughout the class.

Everything she did made me want to curl up and hide again…I would give so much to be her…and have him again. This teacher gave us time to get to know our table partners too, but only ten minutes.

"Hi, everyone," One girl said. "I'm Nicole, but you can call me Nikki!"

"I'm Josh." A boy said across from me.

"Max," The guy next to me said shyly. He smiled at me timidly and I smiled back. He reminded me of Eric Chow from so long ago…

"I'm Bella," I told them. I couldn't help but notice that Edward straightened in his seat in front of me when he heard.

"Everyone's wondering," Nikki said, leaning in. "You told Jarred Newton that you weren't dating the hot Asian, but it really looked like you were at lunch."

"Jake's actually Indian," I told her. "And no, I told Jarred that we were dating." I lied.

"Are you sure? Cause he's sure that you told him no." She said in an annoying tone.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I said back shortly. She made a face and leaned back, then started talking to Josh.

Max played with his pen nervously next to me, and I turned to face him.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," He answered. "Um, sorry, it's my first day here…so I'm nervous."

"Me too," I said. "I only know a few people."

"Oh. Like who?" He asked.

"The Cullen's…" Edward's neck twitched slightly. "And Jacob."

"Are the Cullen's that big family with the huge guys that sit by themselves?" He asked.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, that's them."

"How do you know them?" He asked.

"Um," Edward leaned back a little in his chair. "Well, Edward and I used to be friends when we were younger…but he turned into a total jerk, so we don't talk much anymore." I answered, feeling strong. Edward sat back down and turned faintly to see me. I ignored him.

"Which ones Edward?" Max asked.

"The one with messy hair," I answered. "He's in this class I think…"

Edward's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I think I know which one that is." He answered. "Who's the big one?"

"That's Emmett. He's nothing to be scared of though."

Max nodded his head then fiddled with his pen again.

The bell rang and I rushed out, trying my best to get to my next class to avoid Edward.

Luckily, Edward wasn't in this class. Finally, a break for my mind _and_ heart. _And, _it was a free period, so I was able to just draw and think…which for me, was entirely possible to do at the same time.

**an: Are you guys still liking this? **

**Ps: I promise there's way more drama in biology the next day… :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**an: Okay, so this is a longgg, chapter. Double what they usually are…but hopefully you like it. Thanks for reviewing and such!**

Driving home with Jake seemed way longer than it had on the way there…

"How did it go for you?" He asked as soon as the doors were shut.

"Fine," I answered. "It was hard. But I'll be ok."

"Did you find out the one chick's name?"

I nodded my head. "Marie."

His eyes narrowed. "Edward and Marie." Jacob pronounced. "It doesn't sound right," He sighed. "Bells, I don't know about this."

"I'll be fine, Jake. Honestly. He's over me, so I can be over him. Right?"

He didn't answer for a while. "I guess so."

I sighed, "Look Jake. If you don't want to do this, then don't. But you have to let me…I have too."

"I know, Bella." He hesitated. "I'd go to hell and back for you, I'd do _anything _to save you. And I honestly don't know if I could make it through seeing you like he had left you again…when Sam found you in the woods…it wasn't pretty, Bells. You looked terrified, broken and sick…everything was wrong. I thought I was gonna loose you." He looked down, and he I could tell his throat was tight.

"I promise you Jake. I'll stop before I get there again, I promise you."

He nodded his head but said nothing.

I pulled into the driveway and got out. Jake and I worked silently on different things, trying to pass the time until tomorrow.

And finally, tomorrow became today and we were driving to school again.

Jacob was quiet until we got there, "Bella, I've been thinking. If he were to…ask for forgiveness…what would happen?"

His question surprised me. "I don't know," I answered. "It's impossible to answer without knowing the reason."

"What if they were perfect reasons?" He challenged.

"Jake, where are you going with this?" I asked, too puzzled to answer him.

He shrugged, "Just trying to find my place in all this."

I studied his face, "I'm not leaving you behind," I promised. "Not after all this."

He thought for a minute, "I'm ashamed that the thought crossed my mind."

I frowned, "I guess I would think the same thing if it were flipped."

He smiled, "Love you, Bells."

"Love you too, Jake."

As I walked to my first class I couldn't help but think about what Jake said…what if Edward did have the perfect reasons for leaving?

What if today, everything changed and it was me and him again?

I ran into something cold and hard. I looked up and saw Emmett. He grinned goofily, and wrapped his arms around me.

"I know Ed really messed things up with you," He whispered as he let go, "But I missed you."

I couldn't help but smile back, "I missed you too, Em."

"Al and I tried to come back to see you but Edward found out and stopped us…"

"Emmett," Edward hissed from behind us. I spun around and blushed.

Something went wrong while the venom was changing me, and I was still able too…just not as much.

Edward hadn't noticed though.

He and Emmett shared a quick, silent conversation. I decided to walk away, to avoid having to talk to either of them.

The morning passed easily again, and soon I was walking with Jake to the cafeteria. I stood in line with him as he piled on a bunch of food on his tray then followed him back to the same seat as yesterday.

We talked aimlessly, both of us trying to distract ourselves from the quiet whispers.

A few minutes before the bell rang, Jacob threw away his trash. "You ready?" He asked.

I nodded my head, "I'm fine, I promise."

"Ok," He said. He tensed up a bit, and tightened his grip around my waist.

I turned around and saw that Edward and Alice were walking behind us. I quickly turned back around. Jacob walked me all the way to the door. I hugged him and went into the classroom. It was mostly empty besides one seat…

"Sit." He whispered, pushing the other chair out.

I walked slowly and sat down, but made sure to push my chair away from him.

His eyes showed a look of hurt, but he didn't do anything about it.

"Why are you alive?" He asked.

"Well, my mom and dad loved each other and –"

"No, Bella," He cut me off. "_How _are you alive?"

"Well," I said again. "I was sleeping one night, and along comes a vampire. Then, she sunk their teeth into my throat and limbs. It burned for several days, Jake says it was about six, then I was a vampire. Yay!" I said sarcastically. "How else, Edward?" All my anger towards him was fresh in my mind. How he left me in the neurotic state…how he moved on so carelessly…without even checking back…

His eyes were dark, "Who bit you?" He asked.

"Victoria," I answered. "Don't worry, she made sure to tell me it was because of you and James." Before, I never would've dreamed of telling Edward this was his fault…but now…it's all that I could think about.

"I never wanted this, Bella!" He told me urgently, "I didn't want you to be this."

"Mhm," I said strongly, "Because your world was not for me. I was just the fragile human – who could be easily replaced, right?"

"That had nothing to do with it, and you know that!" He cut back, his voice dim.

"Oh, do I? Who was it that said, 'Time heals all wounds for _your _kind?' Oh, right, it was you." I glared at the table. "You were _so_ wrong Edward. Not even this hell of a life dimmed the memories of that day you left me. I can clearly remember every word you said, so don't try to trick me."

He gazed past me. "Bella, I didn't want it to end like that…you meant everything to me. But what happened with Jasper proved it wasn't safe."

"But look how it all ended, Edward. Just the same…but with a few more scars. In case you were wondering, Victoria _wasn't _careful…she didn't try to make it easy for me. Now let me ask you one thing – you said, 'As long as it was best for you.' Now really, do you honestly believe it was _best for me _if you left or better for you?"

He looked down and didn't answer for a long minute. "You jumped, Bella."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, and I would do almost anything to be able to go back and jump just a little higher so I would've died. Not even venom could've saved me if I would've stayed in a little longer…not even venom."

"What saved you?" He asked, his eyes liquid.

"The damn werewolves." I answered flatly.

"How is the dog still alive?"

"The day they are able to control their anger without phasing is they day they start aging again."

"They dog phases around you?" He asked, his voice strong and…protective?

I nodded my head.

"You promised me Isabella." He voice broke for a second, then came back strong. "You promised you wouldn't do anything reckless or stupid!"

So for Charlie, I promised."

"But you jumped when Charlie was alive, didn't you?" He demanded. "You let the pup near you when he was alive."

I glared at him. "Honestly Edward," I said, my voice low. "How could you accuse me of something you have no idea about? You never checked to see how I was…how do you know how long Charlie was alive, or when I let Jacob near me?"

"I stayed away to keep you safe!" He yelled back, his voice marred.

"That obviously didn't turn out the way you planned then, did it? Anyway, it's not like I mattered to you after. You seemed to have settled down just fine."

"Look who's talking! You're the one that married a mammal."

"Jacob." I said angrily. "His name is Jacob. And who said I was married to him?"

"I'm not stupid Bella," Edward cut in. The class was filling in with people now, so our voices lowered. People's voices buzzed around us, but no one came close to us. "_Jacob,_" He said his name with disgust, "Has always liked you – of course you're married."

"And I'm sure you're married to Marie, right?" I asked.

"No." He answered, his voice was hesitant, "No, we're not married."

"Then I know now not to make assumptions. You should too."

"You and the…Jacob aren't married?"

I shook my head.

"But it's been ninety two years…you've been with him that long, haven't you?"

"He's been with me, yes. But we've never been anything more."

"There's someone else." He said simply.

I rolled my eyes but didn't answer.

"Who then?" He demanded.

"Look, Edward, I don't really want to sit here and explain the past ninety-two years to you. I'm not trying to impress you, or shield you from the truth – which is what our entire relationship seemed like – lying." His eyes became hard again. "I don't owe anything to you, Edward. I don't need to spill my guts so you understand why I'm here, how I'm here, or who I'm with. You broke me so you could go on living with Marie. I bet she was there the entire time," He opened his mouth but I kept talking. "Please, Edward, don't talk to me anymore." I stood up and left the classroom.

It was raining hard, and puddles were forming outside. It almost seemed like it was flooding…

The bell rang, then three beeps followed. People became very quiet.

And just like I expected - "Hello, everyone, Principle Conner has decided that it is unsafe to drive in this weather, and until it clears up, he asks that you stay in the building you are in now. Classes will be cancelled. Please, do not leave the building you are in now." Three more beeps followed and people cheered. I wanted to scream, but for different reasons. Luckily, Jacob was in this building right now, and so was his locker. I went to meet him there, and found a girl standing there too.

"Um, hi," She said nervously.

"Hi," I said back.

"Are you Jacob's girlfriend?"

I nodded my head. "And you are?"

"My lockers next to his," She motioned. "He has to open it for me…I can never get it right."

"Oh," I smiled to show her I didn't care. "He should be out soon."

She nodded her head, "Oh, I'm Elizabeth, by the way. Sorry, that was rude."

I smiled again, "Bella," Jake came out and half smiled. he opened his locker quickly and put his books inside then opened Elizabeth's for her, she thanked him then put her books away.

"You guys met?" He asked.

We nodded our heads.

"Cool," He answered. "Well, everyone's headed to the main hall, lets go hang out there." He started to walk and I followed.

"Coming, Elizabeth?" I asked.

"Um, sure." She said quickly, catching up. "I just didn't want to bother you."

"You wont," Jake and I said together.

The only open area was by the Cullens. Jasper, Alice, Edward and Marie were the only ones there, but that was enough.

"Umm," Jacob said, looking around. "Or we could just go to the hall."

I sighed, "No, lets just sit next to them."

He studied my face then nodded.

"You know them?" Elizabeth asked.

We nodded, "Old friends." Jacob said bitterly. "We don't exactly get along anymore."

She nodded her head as we walked towards them. We sat down, our backs facing them and I zeroed in on their conversation.

"Ugh," Marie whispered. "Why does that girl always come near us?"

I could hear a low growl escape Edward's lips.

"Edward," Jasper hissed. "Leave it alone."

I turned slightly, and could see them. I watched Edward's glance travel from Jacob and I's intertwined hands up to my eyes. He leaned over, keeping my glance and kissed Marie on the cheek.

I narrowed my eyes at him and did the one thing I could think of. I pushed my bueatiful, amazing power out to cover the entire room. His eyes grew big and he looked around him. Voices were still buzzing, but I was sure he couldn't hear a single thought. Jacob looked at me curiously, but I smiled.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked, seemingly just as worried.

"What the hell?" Edward hissed. "Something's wrong."

Alice half smirked at me.

"Alice, what the hell. What is this?" Edward hissed at her.

"What is what, Edward?" Alice asked.

Marie was hanging onto his arm.

Elizabeth started talking to Jacob and I; I nodded and laughed when it was appropriate, but my main concern was keeping my block on everyone.

"I cant hear," He hissed at them.

"At all?" Jasper asked.

"Thoughts," He snapped. "It's blank."

Alice looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"Alice," Edward yelled. "You know what this is, so tell me now!"

Alice glared at him, "What makes you think I know?"

Soon, Edwards eyes shot to me. "You." He whispered.

"What?" I asked. Jacob stopped and looked at Edward.

"This is you."

"I don't know what your talking about." I said simply.

He glared at me and a low hiss escaped his lips. Jacob stood up, and Edward did too.

"Jacob," I hissed. A ripple went through his body. He was about to phase. I stood up and let go of the block. Edward stepped forward and growled. Jacob stepped closer too…

**An: Sorry, it was getting a bit long… :D Thanks sooo much ButterflyxD for the amazing idea of the mind block. I love it! If anybody had ideas they'd like to see happen, review or PM me, I love to hear them! I cant promise I'll use everything, but I certainly love to hear suggestions. Thanks!**


	5. Author's Note, Apology

**An:**

**I know, I know, no author notes as chapters. I apologize greatly.**

**My computer crashed, so of course, that means bye-bye next few chapters I had written. Yep.**

**Im not sure if I'll be able to get them back, but I apologize for the huge length between chapters.**

**Sorry.**

**I'll be deleting this after I get the next chapters up, so if you have something to say, and want to review the next chapter,**

**Please send me a PM instead.**

**Thanks for being lovely.**

**3**


	6. Chapter 5

**An: I'm soo sorry, everyone! As you all read, my computer crashed. All better now, sorry for the impossible wait! **

I didn't breathe, nor did Alice or Jasper. Jacob's body shook violently again, and he ran quickly down the hall. I gasped as Edward followed. I looked at Alice, but she was zoned out. Jasper was standing nervous, probably overwhelmed by emotion. Then, the entire room rushed down the hall after them, and I was being pushed and along with them. Luckily, there was no sign of either of them once we were outside. Unluckily, there was no sign of either of them. I looked at Alice and she nodded her head slightly towards the woods, and I frowned. Jasper looked torn.

"Everyone inside!" Mr. Banner yelled. Alice shrugged, and walked slowly inside behind everyone else. Jasper and Alice were both by me once we got inside.

"We'll sneak out in two minutes. I'll leave with Jasper in thirty seconds, you tell Elizabeth that you need time alone, then leave too. We'll meet outside, go quietly." She whispered quickly before dashing away.

At least that meant it wasn't deadly…yet. I nodded my head and sat down with Elizabeth.

"Oh my God!" She cried. "What was that?"

"Jake and Edward have never got along, some sort of family feud, I guess." I told her, avoiding her eyes.

Jasper and Alice left, holding hands smiling, many people looked up, but then looked back down.

After a minute, I stood up. "Elizabeth, I need time alone, I'll be back later."

She nodded her head sympathetically, then hugged me. She seemed surprised by my cold, hard skin but didn't completely show it. I was able to go down the hallway and sneak out the door unnoticed.

Alice and Jasper led the way into the woods at top speed. I knew I could outrun them easily, but I stayed a few paces behind them. Edward was sitting in a wrecked clearing, there was no sign of Jacob.

Trees, branches, bushes, clothes – all strewn across the floor. Alice shook her head at Edward, and he shrugged.

"Where is he?" I asked angrily.

"He's fine," Alice told me. "He didn't want to fight Edward."

"Looks like they did." Jasper commented.

"That was your delusional brother, attacking the forest in his anger. Threatening to ruin our cover. You idiot, Edward!" Alice glared at him.

"It was Bella!" Edward yelled. I narrowed my eyes at him. "It was me," He said after a minute. "It was stupid."

"I'm going back before it's obvious," Alice said, a sour edge to her voice. "Come with me, Jasper." She turned and ran back through the forest.

I turned too, but Edward grabbed my arm. "Wait," He said.

I shook my head and tried to run off too.

Soon he was next to me. "Bella, you were supposed to move on. I never expected you to want me again…the words I said…"

"I know what you said, Edward. I don't need you to remind me." I snapped.

"It was all a lie, Bella! Don't you remember anything I told you before?" He asked, leaning towards me.

I slowed my pace, hating the way I felt so…human. Vulnerable. "I remember _everything _you told me, Edward. Especially all the words that negated the others."

"Bella…it was nearly impossible for me to live in a world that you did not exist in. I went to the Volturi shortly after you jumped…Alice, Emmett and Carlisle all forced me back home. I had to live with my lies…I thought you died. I pull off an act with Marie because Esme needs to believe I'm ok again…I broke my family apart." He grabbed my hand, but I pulled it away.

When I didn't say anything, he continued. "You believed me so…quickly. It was _excruciating_. I lied and I'm so, so sorry. I hurt you; I lied to you…all for a worthless effort. I'm sorry I didn't protect you," He leaned forward and put his arm out, I flinched away as he traced the scars on my arms and face, "And I'm sorry I couldn't save you from yourself. I lied to save you, and it didn't work…I never thought you would believe me. All those times I had told you I loved you…how could you let one word break it all?"

I took in each word slowly, and thought while he waited, with no sign of impatience. "Am I dreaming?" I asked finally, deciding that Forks had made me crazy and I was only making this up.

He shook his head.

"Dead? Did I finally kill myself?" I couldn't remember trying again.

"Finally?" He asked, his voice worried. "Bella, you promised –"

I cut him off, "For Charlie."

"No, you didn't kill yourself." He answered, giving up on the promise.

"You're right. If I was dead, you definitely wouldn't be with me."

"You're impossible," He said, and he laughed once – a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I _have_ always loved you and I _will _always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

I stared at a nearby tree, and noticed that the birds had become louder, seemingly to be narrating our conversation to each other.

"You don't believe me?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Bella," He said slowly. "How can you always believe the lie, but not the truth?"

I shrugged.

"Bella…" He reached out again, and I flinched back. "You're so hesitant, careful. I need to know why…have I hurt you too much? Or because you have moved on, as I meant for you too? That would be…fair. I wont contest your decision. Don't spare my feelings, Bella. Tell me whether or not you can forgive me, and love me again. You're everything to me…can you possibly, ever love me again?"

**An: *Evil laugh***


	7. Chapter 6

**So, I disappointed some of you with that last chapter. I apologize. I feel like a failure nowww.. gah, sorryyyy!**

Great.

Now Im stuck in a freaking forest with the man who ruined my life.

And he loves me.

Great.

I was unable to answer.

I felt like I was drifting back to before.

When he left me.

I wanted to scream at him. And hit him. But no sound escaped my lips, and no movements were made.

I continued to walk.

I felt trapped, and scared.

I wasn't sure how to answer.

All these years, it seemed as if I would never be whole again unless I had him back.

And now...

Now, the choice was mine.

But Jacob.

_My _Jacob.

I couldn't forget him.

That was hardly fair.

And me.

Edward left me.

For one hundred and nine freaking long years.

To live in complete heartbreak.

He took my friends.

My family.

My life.

And he's offering to spend eternity and a day with me now.

I dreamed, wanted, longed for, and became obsessed with this throughout the years.

And here it is.

And I'm second guessing it.

It seems perfectly normal here though.

His hand in mine, his breathing slow.

But _JACOB._

_My_ Jacob.

The boy -- man -- who kept me alive.

The man who left behind his entire life to be with me.

My best friend.

I heard a howl.

My Jacob howling.

At me, at Edward, at this. At us.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

I didnt move to face him. I kept my face forward, my eyes down, and my breathing slow.

"_Bella…You're so hesitant, careful. I need to know why…have I hurt you too much? Or because you have moved on, as I meant for you too? That would be…fair. I wont contest your decision. Don't spare my feelings, Bella. Tell me whether or not you can forgive me, and love me again. You're everything to me…can you possibly, ever love me again?"_

His words rang out in my mind.

_Can you possibly, ever love me again?_

Can I?

Jacob.

Was Jacob supposed to be my husband?

But what if he imprints?

Where does that leave me?

Back to the best friend?

After I turned down Edward, so I could be with Jacob, what if he imprinted?

What then?

Nothing then.

I die?

I stay.

I've worked too hard to give in and die now.

Yet, I've worked too hard to give in to Edward now.

Realizing this, I turned to him. "No," My voice was shaky. "No, Edward, I cannot."

My body trembled as the look in his eyes changed from hopeful love, to furious hate.

I dropped his hand and stepped back.

He turned to face me completely.

"We're meant to be. I know it."

I shook my head. "Im sorry, Edward. You've waited too long." My voice still trembled, but I refused to back down.

"How could I know you were alive?" He shouted. "I never knew!"

"Please, Edward. I don't need this." Tears would've betrayed me here, if I could cry.

"Bella, give me a second chance," His eyes were liquid topaz, seductive.

I shook my head, as I fell back into a tree.

A second howl, this time closer.

"Jacob." I whispered.

Edward stared at me, without moving or speaking.

Soon, my half naked wolf boy walked between us, putting his burning body between us.

The body that kept me warm when I needed, and made me feel human.

I reached forward for his hand, feeling his hot, soft skin against mine made me certain I made the right choice.

He was my life.

Whether he wanted or not.

"So be it." Edward said, nodding his head once before running back into the woods.

"What happened?" Jacob said, his face filled with worry.

"You're stuck with me," I said. The lightness in my voice startled me.

A beautiful, toothy grin spread across his sun-darkened skin and he hugged me.

**Maybe it went too fast for some of you, I apologize if it did. Sorry if I've let you guys down with this. **

**Do you still love me?**


	8. Sorry! I love you:

Trick chapter, so sorry.

Yeah, I know I suck. So does high school.

I worked so hard on my breaks to get a good chapter up, but nothings right.

I suck, I'll update soonish (no promises :/), sorry, Merry Christmas, or anything else you celebrate, happy new year friends.

Apologies again!

love you all(:

3


	9. Hiatus

Okay guys,

Here's the deal.

I have to go on hiatus.

And I know that's what I've done already, for the past freaking forever, but I feel better about myself if I give it a name.

haaa,

I willll work on chapters, promise promise promise.

promise!

I just cannot come up with anything good for those.

In the mean time, if you wish, there's a link to my fictionpress page on my profile thing.

Take a look, review my poems, and let me know that you came from here if you do!

i love you all... forgive me?


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